Thursday, January 1, 2015

color my sheep red

Thursday, January 1, 2015
photo taken from i love your flock, andrew jack

there it is again, looming over the waxen clouds is a tempest of new year’s resolutions. some people have started asking me if i’ve tossed anything into my bucket list yet, and the answer remains the same since the last few years: none. no resolutions of any kind, save for taming my appetite, which directly translates to teaching a venus fly trap to let a fetching insect fly by unconsumed. 

there are two things that i don’t like to do. the first is making promises, and the second is making plans. when my mother realized that all i ever did was to hide under my blanket with nancy drew and wrote on my journal, she swore i was doomed for life. so then she promoted herself to critic status about anything that concerned me and my life. i was expected to become a nurse like some women in my family, or good gracious, a banker like my father. right. my mother was busy rearranging furniture while i was eating my math book (true story). so plans and promises are like ketchup and mayonnaise on my burger—there’s an absolute absence of both.

while i’m not nuts about making new year’s resolutions, i’m glad that other people are. they magnet good energy, which i hope will last until the next weekend. i see that everyone has made grand plans of becoming better versions of themselves. if i had the least idea of how that’s done, trust me i would will myself to wake up as meera syal. or ellen degeneres. or lisa macuja. 


on second thought, i like the muffled, often invisible, bell jar-sucking and unhinged person that i call (ta-dah!) myself. 

what i want to do right now is to celebrate friendships, old and new, and want to start off by sharing a few things that i have learned about my connections with people in the last few years.

photo taken from imgio

     1.william butler yeats was right when he said, “there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet.” and when you meet ones that feel like the perfect kind of blueberry on top of your cheesecake, your gut tugs you so hard that you can’t help blurting out, “where the hell have you been?” beyond embarrassment. 
    2.friends who know you like his or her own soul will not jump at you deedee-style (dexter’s lab, yes?)  with “tell me everything that has happened to you since the last time we talked three years ago!”

i have a few good friends i exchange messages with every blue moon and my favorite ones are those that do not begin with “hello”.

to mention a few:

~ “i just cooked the best steak! i just know you’re gonna love this!” (last chat was about a “totally fucked up book” two months prior to the steak)

~ “was watching the moon and i thought of you.” (amazing. last conversation with this person was 17 years ago when chat didn’t involve the fingers)

~“what the fuck are these people on facebook doing?” (last chat before this one was four months old. absolutely love no hellos)

~”how’s my favorite chatmate? i miss sleep! ” (this one was unexpected and left me teary-eyed a bit because this person barely talked to me in college)

~”this made me cry! you have to watch this! i know you’ll looooove this! (video of a dance mob followed)

~”hi love.” (yes, needy me needs to hear it. you’re welcome.)

~”i miss your face!” (hits me from out of nowhere. i love that!)

~”you’re the first person i thought of today.” (cousin love, it is.)

     3.when you suddenly get a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to for almost two years from across the world, and instead of hello, says, “you picked up! i missed you! i’m pooping right now!” you know it’s genuine friendship. no inhibitions.  

     4.they know you’re a bipolar (mixed bipolar disorder, to be exact) and they stay. 

     5.they will eat fresh bananas topped with potato chips with you on some days.

     6.they pick up your call at 3am because you’re very upset or very happy for no reason. start laughing or crying, or laughing and crying, again for no reason, and they don’t have to look up from their book. they just know you’re being you. 

     8.they know you’re onto something, like a mother anticipating poo from a toddler, by just looking at your eyes. i always get a “you’re-writing-aren’t-you-you’re-so-out-there-again” from my boyfriend. would also get this from an octogenarian, librarian friend i used to work with.

     9.friendship has no age. one of my best girl friends is 67 years old (my mother, not) and the youngest is three (my daughter) whose favorite four words for me are: you are weird, mother.  

   10.they say, “i’m here for you” and mean it. really, really mean it.

it’s the year of the sheep, and i’d like to color my sheep red. good souls, twin flames, start rolling in. my door is open. 2015, be mine, in whatever nice way you can.

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