the taste of okra

Can anybody really explain the taste of okra?

looking back now, my son came up with some sort of a description of the taste of okra. he's known for his complex analogies on food and their different tastes, and he had this to say about our soup one night:

“when you first taste it it’s just like water, but if you let it stay longer in your mouth you will begin to realize that it tastes wonderful. it came from one source but they have different tastes  inside your mouth. mommy, this soup is like parallel evolution.”

there isn’t a day when we don’t have okra on the dinner table. my kids love to eat vegetables and my daughter who's four years old now, would even trade cookies for white onions when she was one.

my then eleven year old’s review of okra?

“it’s the taste of emptiness.”

                                              

photo by koshersamurai

i love the smell of wasabi. if i’m not eating it, i’m sniffing it. so dipping okra in soy sauce with wasabi is like sitting between  conan o’brien and dexter -- a description of a great experience.

according to our food guru, “the taste of wasabi is complicated.”

no further explanation to that. no implosion or explosion of flavors. just that…wasabi tastes complicated. 

running in red stilettos is a top philippine lifestyle, home, living, advice, style, technology, mommy and women's blog, top manila blog on depression, anxiety, mid-life crisis, career, college advice, health tips, psychology, inspiration, love, spirituality, diet, slimming, weight loss tips, homebased work okra, wasabi, food review, soup, manila, philippines, parallel evolution, SAHM

daily look's little black dress

running in red stilettos featuring dailylook's little black dress

moving to a new house drained loads of my energy. there is nothing that i want more now than a sweet little break to celebrate a brand new start and to unwind from all the packing, unpacking and all the tasks that got squeezed in between. lazy walks and late coffee nights enjoying the cool breeze of antipolo—and soon, would absolutely do me wonders.

and for a change, i'd like to toss my jeans aside for a little black dress.

i opened my wardrobe ninja-style (this was before hauling my clothes into boxes four weeks ago) just in case a leprechaun decided to live in there rent-free after i had neglected it for the more handy t-shirt cabinet for the longest time. but nope, no leprechauns, only dresses collecting dust in the dark. 

my wardrobe (seriously) needs revamping and i’m getting a lot of help from dailylook. there is a feast of gorgeous little black dresses going on at dailylook and i am absolutely in love with the richie shift dress. a black dress in warmer weather is workable with the right material and this is what this dress is all about. the v-neck looks sultry, however, not too revealing. and notice how the dress just drops comfortably sans the tight spots here and there? that is love. 

i would choose any black dress any time as long as i could wear it with ballerina flats, sneakers or espadrilles. here’s a little black dress ensemble that i put together after dailylook invited me to feature my own style in their style sets. there is no replacement for all the rustic, chic moon-themed accessories if your style in fashion is personal, light and carefree like mine.

black dress, dailylook,running in red stilettos is a top philippine lifestyle, home, living, advice, style, technology, mommy and women's blog, top manila blog on depression, anxiety, mid-life crisis, career, college advice, health tips, psychology, inspiration, love, spirituality, diet, slimming, weight loss tips, homebased work 

lenny kravitz manila concert cancelled

lenny kravitz

i was ready to stamp my birth month this 2015 as grand. or (the faddish, almost cringe-worthy word) epic. or unparalleled. but no, not happening. lenny kravitz's concert in manila has been cancelled. cancelled, not postponed, so if he's going to make it here in the future remains to be seen. what's certain is that one, people are moving to mars and two, no kravitz for me this year.

you and i are not wailing alone. kravitz's concerts across australia, bluefest and asia have all been cancelled. 

kravitz apologized that due to scheduling conflicts beyond his control, his concert tour dates had to be cancelled.

looks like ticketworld is going to be busy doing refunds. grab a bar of chocolate on your way home. that will take care of the heartache.

running in red stilettos is a top philippine lifestyle, home, living, advice, style, technology, mommy and women's blog, top manila blog on depression, anxiety, mid-life crisis, career, college advice, health tips, psychology, inspiration, love, spirituality, diet, slimming, weight loss tips, homebased work lenny kravitz, manila concert, ticketworld

a letter to a man across the world

dear D of sheffield,

in a conversation over coffee that i had with a couple of friends a few days ago, we all agreed that it’s been an off-putting start for this year. in my part of the world, there’s been a couple of earthquakes (no one got hurt but it shook a lot of people, no pun intended), my (very pregnant) sister’s next door neighbor was robbed, three people really close to me have ended their romantic relationships, a lot of people have also been sick. and today, there is a storm. it’s only the beginning of the year.  i myself have been under the weather, and the inspiration to write has left me. i hope only temporarily.

two nights ago, one of my readers left me a message saying that she’s still suffering from a break-up from two years ago (this invisible writer still gets stoked when she gets anonymous e-mails from readers. you too, dear readers, can do the same if you wish. cure4mondays@gmail.com). there is a request for me to write about how people deal with pain from past relationships. i am flattered that i’ve been asked, but i’m not sure if i am the right person to write about it. i’ve had my share of bad relationships. my process: get hurt, bounce back, repeat. note: repeat only the good part of it.

you got my attention. i’ve never had a guy from across the world write to me about being “shattered into pieces”. they say it’s easier to open up to strangers. first, there is the complete absence of pre-judgment. second, it’s the next best thing to talking to yourself. i am celebrating, with a cup of tea, the fact that someone like you has manned up to run to a blog with the name “stilettos” screaming at you.

i am sorry to know that you are hurting. i am sorry that loneliness, you said, is killing you. i am sorry that you feel hopeless, among so many other emotions that come when a person turns his or her back away from you. that certainly is a lot for a person to take in all at the same time. we have all been through episodic walks down that familiar lane. i don’t like that lane one bit. there was a period in my life when that lane moved up in front of my house. even conakry that time seemed like a great place to fly to but there was simply no way to escape what lay in front of me. 

when we are in great deal of emotional pain, we look around for anything that will fill the void. that’s how we stumble into bad decisions sometimes. when your girlfriend left you for another guy, kubler-ross’ model of the stages of grief must have hit you harder that two bottles of absinthe. 

now that you’ve denied, gotten angry, probably bargained and are depressed, let’s hop on to the most challenging stage to achieve — acceptance. there’s no telling when it’s going to happen for you, but there is another way around it — and that’s making it happen for you.

after the break-up, you said you want to deny yourself love because all it does is draw in pain. your exact words, “i don’t believe in love anymore.” 

D, love is what you give. in the years of my long and stormy, but rewarding, journey, i have learned that loving becomes painful when you expect it to be given back to you. what human from this planet would not want to be loved back, right? 

eventually, one reaches a level of awareness where bliss is sourced from giving and not getting. joy comes from a place of knowing that the person you love is well, happy and healthy. love becomes a present that you give, not a prize that you’re trying to win.

i reread a favorite book when i introduced it to a kerouac-loving nepalese friend a few months ago. the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry has taught me some of the most valuable things about the world and my connections with people. this one, i really value….

D, i’m not even going to say that i understand what your heart is going through. it’s always different for every breathing soul. i thank you for sharing your pain and your thoughts because it is proof that what lies within you is a bright shining moon called strength. 

tomorrow isn’t necessarily today’s friend. 

love hasn’t left. it hasn’t left your heart and soul when your ex-girlfriend left. love lies within you and it’s waiting for you to give it.  

Read more home, love and life articles here.

running in red stilettos is a top philippine lifestyle, home, living, advice, style, technology, mommy and women's blog, top manila blog on depression, anxiety, mid-life crisis, career, college advice, health tips, psychology, inspiration, love, spirituality, diet, slimming, weight loss tips, homebased work, SAHM

color my sheep red

photo taken from agribusiness.com.pk. i love your flock, andrew jack

there it is again, looming over the waxen clouds is a tempest of new year’s resolutions. some people have started asking me if i’ve tossed anything into my bucket list yet, and the answer remains the same since the last few years: none. no resolutions of any kind, save for taming my appetite, which directly translates to teaching a venus fly trap to let a fetching insect fly by unconsumed. 

there are two things that i don’t like to do. the first is making promises, and the second is making plans. when my mother realized that all i ever did was to hide under my blanket with nancy drew and wrote on my journal, she swore i was doomed for life. so then she promoted herself to critic status about anything that concerned me and my life. i was expected to become a nurse like some women in my family, or good gracious, a banker like my father. right. my mother was busy rearranging furniture while i was eating my math book (true story). so plans and promises are like ketchup and mayonnaise on my burger—there’s an absolute absence of both.

while i’m not nuts about making new year’s resolutions, i’m glad that other people are. they magnet good energy, which i hope will last until the next weekend. i see that everyone has made grand plans of becoming better versions of themselves. if i had the least idea of how that’s done, trust me i would will myself to wake up as meera syal. or ellen degeneres. or lisa macuja. 

wait.

on second thought, i like the muffled, often invisible, bell jar-sucking and unhinged person that i call (ta-dah!) myself. 

what i want to do right now is to celebrate friendships, old and new, and want to start off by sharing a few things that i have learned about my connections with people in the last few years.

photo taken from imgio

     1.william butler yeats was right when he said, “there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet.” and when you meet ones that feel like the perfect kind of blueberry on top of your cheesecake, your gut tugs you so hard that you can’t help blurting out, “where the hell have you been?” beyond embarrassment. 

   
    2.friends who know you like his or her own soul will not jump at you deedee-style (dexter’s lab, yes?)  with “tell me everything that has happened to you since the last time we talked three years ago!”

i have a few good friends i exchange messages with every blue moon and my favorite ones are those that do not begin with “hello”.

to mention a few:

~ “i just cooked the best steak! i just know you’re gonna love this!” (last chat was about a “totally fucked up book” two months prior to the steak)

~ “was watching the moon and i thought of you.” (amazing. last conversation with this person was 17 years ago when chat didn’t involve the fingers)

~“what the fuck are these people on facebook doing?” (last chat before this one was four months old. absolutely love no hellos)

~”how’s my favorite chatmate? i miss sleep! ” (this one was unexpected and left me teary-eyed a bit because this person barely talked to me in college)

~”this made me cry! you have to watch this! i know you’ll looooove this! (video of a dance mob followed)

~”hi love.” (yes, needy me needs to hear it. you’re welcome.)

~”i miss your face!” (hits me from out of nowhere. i love that!)

~”you’re the first person i thought of today.” (cousin love, it is.)

     3.when you suddenly get a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to for almost two years from across the world, and instead of hello, says, “you picked up! i missed you! i’m pooping right now!” you know it’s genuine friendship. no inhibitions.  

     4.they know you’re a bipolar (mixed bipolar disorder, to be exact) and they stay. 

     5.they will eat fresh bananas topped with potato chips with you on some days.

     6.they pick up your call at 3am because you’re very upset or very happy for no reason.

     7.you start laughing or crying, or laughing and crying, again for no reason, and they don’t have to look up from their book. they just know you’re being you. 

     8.they know you’re onto something, like a mother anticipating poo from a toddler, by just looking at your eyes. i always get a “you’re-writing-aren’t-you-you’re-so-out-there-again” from my boyfriend. would also get this from an octogenarian, librarian friend i used to work with.

     9.friendship has no age. one of my best girl friends is 67 years old (my mother, not) and the youngest is three (my daughter) whose favorite four words for me are: you are weird, mother.  

   10.they say, “i’m here for you” and mean it. really, really mean it.

it’s the year of the sheep, and i’d like to color my sheep red. good souls, twin flames, start rolling in. my door is open. 2015, be mine, in whatever nice way you can.

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