color my sheep red

photo taken from agribusiness.com.pk. i love your flock, andrew jack

there it is again, looming over the waxen clouds is a tempest of new year’s resolutions. some people have started asking me if i’ve tossed anything into my bucket list yet, and the answer remains the same since the last few years: none. no resolutions of any kind, save for taming my appetite, which directly translates to teaching a venus fly trap to let a fetching insect fly by unconsumed. 

there are two things that i don’t like to do. the first is making promises, and the second is making plans. when my mother realized that all i ever did was to hide under my blanket with nancy drew and wrote on my journal, she swore i was doomed for life. so then she promoted herself to critic status about anything that concerned me and my life. i was expected to become a nurse like some women in my family, or good gracious, a banker like my father. right. my mother was busy rearranging furniture while i was eating my math book (true story). so plans and promises are like ketchup and mayonnaise on my burger—there’s an absolute absence of both.

while i’m not nuts about making new year’s resolutions, i’m glad that other people are. they magnet good energy, which i hope will last until the next weekend. i see that everyone has made grand plans of becoming better versions of themselves. if i had the least idea of how that’s done, trust me i would will myself to wake up as meera syal. or ellen degeneres. or lisa macuja. 

wait.

on second thought, i like the muffled, often invisible, bell jar-sucking and unhinged person that i call (ta-dah!) myself. 

what i want to do right now is to celebrate friendships, old and new, and want to start off by sharing a few things that i have learned about my connections with people in the last few years.

photo taken from imgio

     1.william butler yeats was right when he said, “there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet.” and when you meet ones that feel like the perfect kind of blueberry on top of your cheesecake, your gut tugs you so hard that you can’t help blurting out, “where the hell have you been?” beyond embarrassment. 

   
    2.friends who know you like his or her own soul will not jump at you deedee-style (dexter’s lab, yes?)  with “tell me everything that has happened to you since the last time we talked three years ago!”

i have a few good friends i exchange messages with every blue moon and my favorite ones are those that do not begin with “hello”.

to mention a few:

~ “i just cooked the best steak! i just know you’re gonna love this!” (last chat was about a “totally fucked up book” two months prior to the steak)

~ “was watching the moon and i thought of you.” (amazing. last conversation with this person was 17 years ago when chat didn’t involve the fingers)

~“what the fuck are these people on facebook doing?” (last chat before this one was four months old. absolutely love no hellos)

~”how’s my favorite chatmate? i miss sleep! ” (this one was unexpected and left me teary-eyed a bit because this person barely talked to me in college)

~”this made me cry! you have to watch this! i know you’ll looooove this! (video of a dance mob followed)

~”hi love.” (yes, needy me needs to hear it. you’re welcome.)

~”i miss your face!” (hits me from out of nowhere. i love that!)

~”you’re the first person i thought of today.” (cousin love, it is.)

     3.when you suddenly get a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to for almost two years from across the world, and instead of hello, says, “you picked up! i missed you! i’m pooping right now!” you know it’s genuine friendship. no inhibitions.  

     4.they know you’re a bipolar (mixed bipolar disorder, to be exact) and they stay. 

     5.they will eat fresh bananas topped with potato chips with you on some days.

     6.they pick up your call at 3am because you’re very upset or very happy for no reason.

     7.you start laughing or crying, or laughing and crying, again for no reason, and they don’t have to look up from their book. they just know you’re being you. 

     8.they know you’re onto something, like a mother anticipating poo from a toddler, by just looking at your eyes. i always get a “you’re-writing-aren’t-you-you’re-so-out-there-again” from my boyfriend. would also get this from an octogenarian, librarian friend i used to work with.

     9.friendship has no age. one of my best girl friends is 67 years old (my mother, not) and the youngest is three (my daughter) whose favorite four words for me are: you are weird, mother.  

   10.they say, “i’m here for you” and mean it. really, really mean it.

it’s the year of the sheep, and i’d like to color my sheep red. good souls, twin flames, start rolling in. my door is open. 2015, be mine, in whatever nice way you can.

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new year's resolutions for the antsy

here's wishing everyone a fabulous new year! 

were any of you ever required to write down your new year's resolution on a piece of paper by your teacher? i did that my entire grade school and high school years. makes me wonder where those piles of paper ended up since there were hundreds of us trying real hard to make peace with the word “nice” at the end of each year. it's been decades since i wrote my last one but i sure remember so many of those resolutions that i made. 

after watching the display of fireworks from our balcony last night, i dug up my memory for past resolutions (fireworks never fail to inspire me) and i mentally picked up a piece of paper from 1992. here's what's written down on it. i will never speak one bad word ever again. i will study every night. i will never forget to pray. i will never be late for school. i will significantly cut down daydreaming time.

no, it was another paper that i used in the confessional box. 

the long break from resolutions came in college because i got stuck in the limbo years. when motherhood happened in 2001, that's when it all came back and i didn't have to wait for the turn of the year to make my resolutions... and i didn't have to write them down either. they came on a weekly basis and i worked harder on each item on my mental list. i just have to tell you though that up until now i'm still working on #5 from that antiquated list.

how far could you go with your new year's resolutions? antsy people (like me -- just had to say) have too much going on in their minds and in those webs of thoughts, new year's resolutions are difficult to find -- just like the best episodes of twilight zone. 

here are a few things that will help you stick to those resolutions and make 2013 your happy ever after. 

if you've just written down...

i will dominate the world once i've lost weight-->first, lose weight. that can be done by befriending those excess pounds. looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see will only stress you out, and stress eating tags along everywhere like a kid out of school. if the gym sounds like area 51 to you, start by setting realistic goals. don't make the gym a part of your itinerary. dance,  do jumping jacks, clean your house. if none of that works, consult a weight management specialist. i highly doubt it though if those ten-minute workouts  won't work. 

i will quit smoking for the love of my kids
-->heaven just sent you down... but only in thought. sure, you're the universe's gift to mankind for sincerely wanting that but i'm sure as hell your mind will play the part of lex luthor. quitting cold turkey almost always never works. find alternatives like herbal cigarettes and work your way up from there. 

i will have a nasty breakup with procrastination-->know (right now) why you procrastinate in the first place. re-asses your work space because if there's nothing within your reach that makes you giddy especially on mondays, then you're doomed. take yourself on a weekend trip and think about what really makes you happy. really. you might be killing yourself slowly by staying in your least favorite job in the last five years.

i will try something new every chance i get
-->create a calendar that will help you keep track of events, festivals and activities that you want to experience. setting aside a monthly budget is not a bad idea either. it's a great idea.

i will take the road less traveled-->great, because major thoroughfares are now clogged with people who are not even sure where they want to go. and oh, the less traveled road may lead you to your dream job, coveted relationship, whatnot. 

i will eat healthier-->understand what healthy eating means because you may be on the right track and not know it. fad diets may be bad (excuse the corny rhyme) so don't jump right into the band wagon without knowing what is the right diet for you. it does sound like a lot of work to see a nutritionist but you only have to do that once... if you're not naughty. 

i wish everyone the best of luck for the year of the water snake. cheers to everyone in the first ubc for 2013! thank you michelle shaeffer and michele scism for hosting such a great event. 

new year's resolutions, ultimate blog challenge, cypress towers, c5, fireworks view, year of the water snake, philippines, manila