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| feasting like a teenage girl |
dinner was extra huge last
night. i had five slices of pizza, a big slice of cake, and a tub of strawberry
ice cream all to myself. the chocolate ice cream was a "shared responsibility" between me and my kids.
the four of us then cuddled
on the couch to watch “argo” and when it got to the part where the six hostages
were at the airport about to escape from iran, i realized that i shouldn't have
consumed that much food. the thrill was too much for me as it was for the
pepperoni pizza that clung on to the all-meat special that gripped the cake so
tightly. the strawberry ice cream tried to stay still—but well, failed.
but like most realizations
in life, that one, too, came too late.
i just had to ask for a
glass of wine. pleasure was promptly served.
i'm not a tv person but i
was feeling self-indulgent last night. i spend an average of 1.5 hours watching
tv in a week. i know. insane, huh? i sat down for a few hours to discover
“amish mafia” (appropriately) on discovery channel. baffled yet curious at the
same time, i think i may have found a new sort of like-like on the boob tube and
may stay on for a few more hours to watch each week. the other stuff i've
recently rekindled with on tv are brain games, scam city, taboo, and the
sitcoms on diva. they're showing old episodes of “sex and the city” on betv,
but i'm always with the kids so unless i chance upon those episodes late at
night then there's no satiating in carrie's somewhat engaging new york life. a little bit more of tv and my life would be mundane.
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| the controversial "amish mafia" |
when two episodes of “amish
mafia” ended, i checked the time and realized that i already turned 38.
i find my age amusing. i did
not find the number lying around, nor did i just randomly pick it. i went
around in long-winding avenues, and some confusing fork roads to get here.
being 38 is a prize, a true test of survival. after one goes through flawed
relationships, feigned friendships, damaging mistakes, hurtful exchanges or
extreme indifference, going through countless embarrassing moments, running
around with an empty pocket and a head full of doubt... all that among other
things...
daedalus' labyrinth has
nothing to claim.
my 38th sunrise
hid behind the forlorn house across us where two old people live. i've learned
they've been living there for 20 years now. they watch through their windows quietly,
barely smiling. life imitates melancholic art.
us, we're moving-- again.
the pure delight of being in a new house once again permeates me. most of our
stuff are in their respective boxes now. it was like this when i turned 37. i sat on top of
our boxes grinning. i’m sitting on them again now. a new home means a new beginning
and a whole lot of rays of sunlight to live for.
38 didn't just happen. i got
here bringing with me an ounce of strength and gaining a ton of it like a
snowball rolling in snow. or in my reality, a ball of wet sand rolling in the
shore.
